Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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