i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
