The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
