anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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