party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
