I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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