GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
