dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
