kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
