It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
pray to the hookup gods
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
