Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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