i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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