You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
