Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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