I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
