Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Can you bring me the toilet please
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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