just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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