I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
