Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
