at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
