i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
