Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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