Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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