dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
