did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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