She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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