what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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