I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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