So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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