Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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