did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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