i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I have feelings that need drinking.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
