Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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