Just cropdusted the office
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
