so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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