but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
