Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
