I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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