I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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