Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
