Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
