dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
