oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
