trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
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