Already got asked if we're dating
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
