The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Randomize
