He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
