She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
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