that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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