I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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