his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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