i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
