Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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