I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
